


Jaffa's Ain't Got It Easy

by hellpenguin



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-04
Updated: 2008-05-04
Packaged: 2017-10-08 03:39:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/72322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellpenguin/pseuds/hellpenguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>if you've ever felt irked by Jaffa in the series or wondered how it felt to be one...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jaffa's Ain't Got It Easy

Requirements: blind faith in ones' God, to the point of suicide missions. Ability to kill anyone quickly with no question. Tall and menacing. Ability to wear heavy metal armor in the hottest of deserts. Visible tattoos OK. Muscles a plus. Must be able to say "CREE!" impressively. Little self-worth a plus. Ability to notice the tiniest of movements in an empty cargo bay a plus. Must be able to walk/run a lot in said uniform. Must not care about random human populations on planets you visit/pillage. A lack of humor is necessary.

or

Yeah, I've been a Jaffa for Anubis for a couple years. It's pretty tough. I mean, he's a God and all, what can you expect? And have you seen his face? Damn. It's pretty hard to say no to a face like that. It makes sense, I guess, all his overcompensation yadda yadda yadda. He's not the prettiest larvae in the tank, if you catch my drift.

But if you do what he says, which isn't much beyond your usual "Shoot him" and "Cree!" and doing all the nasty errands he makes us do (you should SEE his laundry when I take it out to be cleaned at the end of the week. He practically lives in that robe), he pretty much leaves you alone. You get to pillage the nicest villages a couple times a week. Sometimes we can even make the new human slaves do OUR dirty work.

It's a pretty sweet job.


End file.
